Divorce is different for people who are parents. When there’s just a husband and wife involved, there is rarely any discussion of timing since the people making the decision are those who are directly affected. But when there are children involved, one of the most important questions that parents want an answer to is, when is the best time to divorce?
Unfortunately, there is no simple answer to that question.
When there is violence or conflict
The timing of your divorce depends on what is going on in your family, how much you and your spouse can cooperate, as well as your child’s age and temperament. The only time these things are not an issue is where there is violence in the home — if that is the case, then the answer is “as soon as possible!”
Most mental health experts agree that raising children in a high-conflict household is far from ideal and, if it can’t be addressed with therapy, the parents should divorce no matter what the age of their children. Living in a high-conflict environment is incredibly damaging to children and the longer it continues, the more ingrained and insidious the damage becomes.
When conflict is low
The majority of people who worry about the timing of divorce are those that may want to end their marriage because of irreconcilable differences — no sex, loneliness, growing apart, etc. — but still want to protect their children as much as possible.
If you are still functioning well together as parents, and your children are still very young, you should consider waiting until your youngest child is in school so he or she will have other interests outside the home as well as a school structure and friendships in place to provide support. Just because you are unhappy does not mean your children are, too.
Children — especially young ones — do not understand the complexities of a marital relationship and may not even notice you are unhappy unless it directly affects your ability to be a good parent. The question of when — or whether — you should divorce can only really be answered after you and your spouse take a hard look at whether or not you would be better parents after a divorce.
Protecting your interests and achieving results that support your needs is what you can expect from Cistaro Law. Contact us today for your free consultation.